Auburn would have ranked 14 among countries in Olympics
3:10 PM, August 27, 2008
AUBURN - If Auburn University would have been its own country in the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, its 18 medals would have tied for 14th place in the world with Spain and Canada.
The university sent 31 current and former Auburn athletes to China, which ranked sixth among U.S. universities according to an article by Forbes magazine. Tiger representatives hailed from 13 countries and competed in a total of 24 events.
Auburn athletes won three gold medals, 10 silver and five bronze in 13 events. The school finished with more medals, 13, in swimming than any other school in the country.
The 18 medals tripled the former Auburn school record of six medals at a single Olympics. Auburn now has 46 Olympic medals all-time from 27 different athletes. The total number of Auburn Olympians all-time now stands at 81 individuals.
To see a complete list of athletes and results, see http://ocm.auburn.edu/olympic_facts.html
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Business and golf
Yesterday was a great day for our community.
We hosted LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens as our inaugural speaker for a Business Breakfast series we just started.
Her remarks were nothing short of inspiring. She tailored her topic to focus on women in professional sports, but also highlighted a broader topic of women in business, and business overall (for men and women.)
Best of all, the main outline of her speech was based on three fundamental principles of golf: play the ball where it lies, always use proper etiquette, and avoid slow play.
In a brief summation:
The first point was bascially to give everyone a fair shot (by playing the ball where it lies.)
The second point illustrated the need to demonstrate, encourage and reward success (that is proper etiquette and being courteous.)
The final point was to seize opportunities by doing the right thing and the smart thing (thereby speeding up play.)
Great words to live by!
We hosted LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens as our inaugural speaker for a Business Breakfast series we just started.
Her remarks were nothing short of inspiring. She tailored her topic to focus on women in professional sports, but also highlighted a broader topic of women in business, and business overall (for men and women.)
Best of all, the main outline of her speech was based on three fundamental principles of golf: play the ball where it lies, always use proper etiquette, and avoid slow play.
In a brief summation:
The first point was bascially to give everyone a fair shot (by playing the ball where it lies.)
The second point illustrated the need to demonstrate, encourage and reward success (that is proper etiquette and being courteous.)
The final point was to seize opportunities by doing the right thing and the smart thing (thereby speeding up play.)
Great words to live by!
Omen for the football field
It's almost Auburn football time....
If you believe in omens, Auburn University Coach Tommy Tuberville picked one up just the other day. Literally.
He was walking, continuing his rehab after hernia surgery, when he spotted a worn playing card on the ground. It was the seven of diamonds. A red seven.
What's that Iron Bowl streak again? Six.
Tuberville swore this was true, and pulled the card out of his wallet to prove it. Other people, hearing the story, might simply swear.
The Birmingham News - Kevin Scarbinsky
If you believe in omens, Auburn University Coach Tommy Tuberville picked one up just the other day. Literally.
He was walking, continuing his rehab after hernia surgery, when he spotted a worn playing card on the ground. It was the seven of diamonds. A red seven.
What's that Iron Bowl streak again? Six.
Tuberville swore this was true, and pulled the card out of his wallet to prove it. Other people, hearing the story, might simply swear.
The Birmingham News - Kevin Scarbinsky
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Here's a new plan....
A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men.
B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.
I love it when a plan comes together. Don't you?
B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
D. In three generations, there will be no Democrats.
I love it when a plan comes together. Don't you?
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thoughts to ponder....
Some thoughts to ponder....
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just prettymuch leave me the heck alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt andleaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal yourneighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't bepromoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique--just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. (I think my friend Kathleen in Florida can attest to this, having just experience Faye.)
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in theirshoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and putit back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot ( but what's the fun in that?)
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxativeon the same night
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just prettymuch leave me the heck alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt andleaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal yourneighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't bepromoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique--just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. (I think my friend Kathleen in Florida can attest to this, having just experience Faye.)
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in theirshoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and putit back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot ( but what's the fun in that?)
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxativeon the same night
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Things I have learned living in Alabama.....
Things I have learned living in Alabama...
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road .
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes - and 4,998 of them live in Alabama.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Alabama, plus a couple more no one has ever seen before!
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words. So is "Tumpt," as in it "tumpt over."
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
MORE THINGS TO LET YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ALABAMA:
1. You measure distance in minutes and give directions by landmarks.
2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
4. You know what a "DAWG" is.
5. You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.
6. 90% of Alabama kitchens will have these five spices/condiments: Morton Salt, McCormick Black Pepper, Texas Pete, JFG/Duke's Mayonnaise and Heinz Ketchup.
7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas. 11. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin".
12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather 13. Fried catfish is the "other white meat".
14. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
15. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Alabama friends.
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road .
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes - and 4,998 of them live in Alabama.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Alabama, plus a couple more no one has ever seen before!
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words. So is "Tumpt," as in it "tumpt over."
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.
MORE THINGS TO LET YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ALABAMA:
1. You measure distance in minutes and give directions by landmarks.
2. You've ever had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
3. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
4. You know what a "DAWG" is.
5. You carry jumper cables in your car…for your OWN car.
6. 90% of Alabama kitchens will have these five spices/condiments: Morton Salt, McCormick Black Pepper, Texas Pete, JFG/Duke's Mayonnaise and Heinz Ketchup.
7. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
8. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
9. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
10. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas. 11. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-Martin".
12. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather 13. Fried catfish is the "other white meat".
14. We don't need no dang driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
15. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Alabama friends.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Food, glorious food....
And the great saying from Oliver Twist is well said..."Food, Glorious Food!" One of the best things about some time on the coast....fresh seafood.
So for those traveling to the Alabama Gulf Coast, here are some recommendations from my personal experience on my latest trip......(I think I missed my calling as a food critic.)
1. LuLu's at HomePort - wonderfully casual food created by Lucy Buffett, sister of singer, songwriter Jimmy Buffett. Lucy has been featured internationally for her "Southern Caviar," "Cheeseburger in Paradise," and my personal favorite, the "Fish Tacos." With live music, outdoor dining and a little something for everyone.
2. The Tin Top Restaurant - fine dining with a casual flair. A little off the beaten path, my first visit will certainly lead to a repeat trip. Of course it came from the chamber folks as a great local recommendation. Located in Bon Secour, just about 15 min from the beach in Gulf Shores, this restaurant is now a favorite. The seafood stuffed grouper with lobster cream sauce, cheese grits and fried green tomatoes was first rate.
3. Sea 'n Suds - I just couldn't resist a trip to this hole in the wall overlooking the beach. When I was in high school, only the cool kids had Sea 'n Suds t-shirts. So, not to be outdone as a teenager, of course I had several. Yet, I guess my childhood immaturity has somehow endeared me to this place. The food is good (fried of course), and its on the beach.
Bon appetit!
So for those traveling to the Alabama Gulf Coast, here are some recommendations from my personal experience on my latest trip......(I think I missed my calling as a food critic.)
1. LuLu's at HomePort - wonderfully casual food created by Lucy Buffett, sister of singer, songwriter Jimmy Buffett. Lucy has been featured internationally for her "Southern Caviar," "Cheeseburger in Paradise," and my personal favorite, the "Fish Tacos." With live music, outdoor dining and a little something for everyone.
2. The Tin Top Restaurant - fine dining with a casual flair. A little off the beaten path, my first visit will certainly lead to a repeat trip. Of course it came from the chamber folks as a great local recommendation. Located in Bon Secour, just about 15 min from the beach in Gulf Shores, this restaurant is now a favorite. The seafood stuffed grouper with lobster cream sauce, cheese grits and fried green tomatoes was first rate.
3. Sea 'n Suds - I just couldn't resist a trip to this hole in the wall overlooking the beach. When I was in high school, only the cool kids had Sea 'n Suds t-shirts. So, not to be outdone as a teenager, of course I had several. Yet, I guess my childhood immaturity has somehow endeared me to this place. The food is good (fried of course), and its on the beach.
Bon appetit!
Some time at the beach....
It is time to say farewell to the beach, after a wonderful past couple of days. Our annual Chamber Association conference has just concluded. The conclusion is always bitter sweet...seeing all my fellow chamber professionals and friends, versus hitting some much needed R & R on the beach.
I have been blessed to have completed my second year on the state board of directors and watched our association continue to grow in strength, number and professionalism. I am convinced that "chamber people" truly are the best people in the world. And, we have a least a little fun along the way (wow, what an understatement!) I got to hit the pool and the beach on Friday evening, then the rain set in today. Yet, it wasn't a total wash out, and the wrap-around balcony at the condo has been awesome.
Usually after some time away, I am ready to head home....however...not this time. I think I could stay another week.
I have been blessed to have completed my second year on the state board of directors and watched our association continue to grow in strength, number and professionalism. I am convinced that "chamber people" truly are the best people in the world. And, we have a least a little fun along the way (wow, what an understatement!) I got to hit the pool and the beach on Friday evening, then the rain set in today. Yet, it wasn't a total wash out, and the wrap-around balcony at the condo has been awesome.
Usually after some time away, I am ready to head home....however...not this time. I think I could stay another week.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Olympic fever
I am not quite sure what has come over me, but one thing is for certain....I have contracted Olympic fever. From the opening ceremonies (which where absolutely phenomenal), to the latest swimming victory in the relay last night, I have been glued to the television or internet to catch the latest action.
Last night's victory in the Men's Relay was a sight to see. I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed early and miss the event, especially after the nasty comments made by the French swimmers. But, what should one expect, they are afterall the French, so it comes as no surprise. To see American Jason Lezak come from a length behind to defeat Frenchman Alain Bernard was awesome.
Of course, none of this should come as a surprise...the French did what they do best...step aside and let the United States get it done.
Never fear Mr. Bernard, I am sure an Olympic gold medal will turn up on e-bay. Perhaps you can buy one there.
Last night's victory in the Men's Relay was a sight to see. I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed early and miss the event, especially after the nasty comments made by the French swimmers. But, what should one expect, they are afterall the French, so it comes as no surprise. To see American Jason Lezak come from a length behind to defeat Frenchman Alain Bernard was awesome.
Of course, none of this should come as a surprise...the French did what they do best...step aside and let the United States get it done.
Never fear Mr. Bernard, I am sure an Olympic gold medal will turn up on e-bay. Perhaps you can buy one there.
"Change"
A good friend sent this in an email to me. I couldn't resist passing it on.....
"Change"
Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a Lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The Gunny responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "Men, the Lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz. Now, get to it!"
The moral: A candidate may promise "change" in Washington, but don't count on things smelling any better!
"Change"
Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a Lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The Gunny responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "Men, the Lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz. Now, get to it!"
The moral: A candidate may promise "change" in Washington, but don't count on things smelling any better!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Think you are overworked?
Think you are overworked?
Here’s why:
The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces busy with keeping us safe from terrorists. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for state government. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting at your computer reading jokes.
Nice, real nice…....
Here’s why:
The population of this country is 273 million.
140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces busy with keeping us safe from terrorists. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for state government. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting at your computer reading jokes.
Nice, real nice…....
The Sound of a Racecar
Racecar Insanity Test
Instructions:
1. Click the link above: Racecar Insanity Test
2. Turn on the Speakers and allow the page to load fully
3. Stare at the Picture without laughing for 60 seconds
4. If you start laughing consider yourself legally insane
(posted for Patrick, even after all these years, it never ceases to be amusing)
Instructions:
1. Click the link above: Racecar Insanity Test
2. Turn on the Speakers and allow the page to load fully
3. Stare at the Picture without laughing for 60 seconds
4. If you start laughing consider yourself legally insane
(posted for Patrick, even after all these years, it never ceases to be amusing)
He was injured, injured bad.
Ok, maybe my sense of humor is warped, but I found this to be absolutely hilarious.
I just had to share. Enjoy!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Political Science for Dummies
I spent all that money to get a poli sci undergrad degree, when it could have been made this simple.
Political Science for Dummies
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine.Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.You break for lunch.Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You have some vodka.You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.They go into hiding.They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.The cow is schizophrenic.Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.The cow asks permission to be cut in half.The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.Some people vote for both.Some people vote for neither.Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.They make real California cheese. Only five speak English.Most are illegals.Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Political Science for Dummies
DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine.Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.You break for lunch.Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.You have some vodka.You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka.You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.They go into hiding.They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.The cow is schizophrenic.Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.The cow asks permission to be cut in half.The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.Some people vote for both.Some people vote for neither.Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.They make real California cheese. Only five speak English.Most are illegals.Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Something "buggy"
Well, it's tax free weekend here in Alabama, which I strongly support. This is the 3rd year we have waived taxes statewide on clothing items, school supplies, etc. So, I ventured out today, despite my better judgment to go to a retailer on a Saturday, with everyone and their brother there as well.
My best friends youngest child is turning 3 years old next weekend. Being the best "uncle" I can be, meant a venture out in search of a birthday present for a soon-to-be 3 year old. I called to inquire as to what would be a good gift for this particular 3 year old. The answer.....bugs. So, off I go in search of something "buggy."
There is a great educational store (locally owned by one of the biggest Auburn fans I have ever met) in downtown Prattville, called The Turtle Shell. The owner is a good friend of mine...naturally I set out to find her in the store, as I was in search of "something buggy." Needless to say, she had so many things related to bugs, that I ended up having a great time looking at bugs in the middle of the store.
The final purchase was a great Bug Alphabet Book, a sleeve of "Bunch of Bugs" little plastic bugs, and the best of all....Preying Mantis Sunglasses. So, my little "nephew" will get to experience what a bug sees because the glasses have prisms inside to give the effect of having bug eyes. You can also flip the prism back and look through regular eyes.
It's back to school soon here in Alabama. The store was packed with parents, teachers, and of course kids. However, I think I had more fun than the kids when I was in search of "something buggy."
My best friends youngest child is turning 3 years old next weekend. Being the best "uncle" I can be, meant a venture out in search of a birthday present for a soon-to-be 3 year old. I called to inquire as to what would be a good gift for this particular 3 year old. The answer.....bugs. So, off I go in search of something "buggy."
There is a great educational store (locally owned by one of the biggest Auburn fans I have ever met) in downtown Prattville, called The Turtle Shell. The owner is a good friend of mine...naturally I set out to find her in the store, as I was in search of "something buggy." Needless to say, she had so many things related to bugs, that I ended up having a great time looking at bugs in the middle of the store.
The final purchase was a great Bug Alphabet Book, a sleeve of "Bunch of Bugs" little plastic bugs, and the best of all....Preying Mantis Sunglasses. So, my little "nephew" will get to experience what a bug sees because the glasses have prisms inside to give the effect of having bug eyes. You can also flip the prism back and look through regular eyes.
It's back to school soon here in Alabama. The store was packed with parents, teachers, and of course kids. However, I think I had more fun than the kids when I was in search of "something buggy."
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