THAT'S AMORE!
Ready for some groaners? (author unknown)
When the moon hits your eye,
Like a big pizza pie,
That's amore. (song made popular by Dean Martin in 1953)
When an eel bites your hand,
And that's not what you planned,
That's a moray.
When your horse munches straw,
And the bales total four,
That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife,
Becomes stabbed with a knife,
That's a Moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests,
Like you did all the rest,
That's some more "A"s!
A comedian ham,
With the name Amsterdam,
That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham,
Is with marshmallows crammed,
That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough,
Of this dumb rhyming stuff,
That's "No more!", eh?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Quote of the day
"You did not bear the shame....You resisted.
Sacrificing your life....For Freedom, Justice, and Honor."
-from the German Resistance Memorial, Berlin
Sacrificing your life....For Freedom, Justice, and Honor."
-from the German Resistance Memorial, Berlin
Monday, March 30, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Top 30 Innovations of the Last 30 years
Top 30 Innovations of the Last 30 Years
The Public Broadcasting System (PBS) began its regular broadcasts of the Nightly Business Report in 1979. In celebration of their 30th year on television, Nightly Business Report partnered with Knowledge@Wharton to identify "The Top 30 Innovations of the Last 30 Years." NBR viewers suggested the advances they admired during the 1979 to 2009 time frame. Professors at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania selected and ranked the top thirty.
#30 - Anti-Retroviral Treatment for AIDS
#29 - SRAM/Flash Memory
#28 - Stents (coronary stents)
#27 - ATMs
#26 - Bar Codes and Scanners
#25 - Biofuels
#24 - Genetically Modified Plants
#23 - RFID and applications (Radio Frequency Identification)
#22 - Digital Photography/Videography
#21 - Graphic User Interface (GUI)
#20 - Social Networking via Internet
#19 - Large Scale Wind Turbines
#18 - Photovoltaic Solar Energy
#17 - Microfinance
#16 - Media File Compression
#15 - Online Shopping/E-Commerce/Auctions
#14 - GPS
#13 - Liquid Crystal Displays (LCDs)
#12 - Light Emitting Diode products (LEDs)
#11 - Open Source Software and Services
#10 - Non-Invasive Laser/Robotic Surgery
#9 - Office Software
#8 - Fiber Optics
#7 - Microprocessors
#6 - Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI)
#5 - DNA Testing and Sequencing/Human Genome Mapping
#4 - E-Mail
#3 - Mobile Phones
#2 - PC/Laptop Computers
#1 - Internet/Broadband/World Wide Web
And this is just the past 30 years! We have grown so accustomed to these items. It's hard to remember when we didn't have them. This begs the question: What will they think of next?!!
The Public Broadcasting System (PBS) began its regular broadcasts of the Nightly Business Report in 1979. In celebration of their 30th year on television, Nightly Business Report partnered with Knowledge@Wharton to identify "The Top 30 Innovations of the Last 30 Years." NBR viewers suggested the advances they admired during the 1979 to 2009 time frame. Professors at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania selected and ranked the top thirty.
#30 - Anti-Retroviral Treatment for AIDS
#29 - SRAM/Flash Memory
#28 - Stents (coronary stents)
#27 - ATMs
#26 - Bar Codes and Scanners
#25 - Biofuels
#24 - Genetically Modified Plants
#23 - RFID and applications (Radio Frequency Identification)
#22 - Digital Photography/Videography
#21 - Graphic User Interface (GUI)
#20 - Social Networking via Internet
#19 - Large Scale Wind Turbines
#18 - Photovoltaic Solar Energy
#17 - Microfinance
#16 - Media File Compression
#15 - Online Shopping/E-Commerce/Auctions
#14 - GPS
#13 - Liquid Crystal Displays (LCDs)
#12 - Light Emitting Diode products (LEDs)
#11 - Open Source Software and Services
#10 - Non-Invasive Laser/Robotic Surgery
#9 - Office Software
#8 - Fiber Optics
#7 - Microprocessors
#6 - Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI)
#5 - DNA Testing and Sequencing/Human Genome Mapping
#4 - E-Mail
#3 - Mobile Phones
#2 - PC/Laptop Computers
#1 - Internet/Broadband/World Wide Web
And this is just the past 30 years! We have grown so accustomed to these items. It's hard to remember when we didn't have them. This begs the question: What will they think of next?!!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Creative Puns for Literary Minds
Creative Puns for Literary Minds
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The army man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The army man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Animal Odd Couple
In this latest installment of CBS News Assignment America, Steve Hartman visits an animal sanctuary where a dog and an elephant have formed a very lasting, and unusual, friendship.
Animal Odd Couple video:
Animal Odd Couple video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U
I hope you enjoy this video clip as much as I did!
Monday, February 23, 2009
#1 SONG THE DAY YOU WERE BORN
Do you know the #1 song the day you were born?
Go here & find out:
http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm
Do you know the #1 song the day you were born?
Go here & find out:
http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm
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